Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Friends and Technology

I've noticed, especially over this past semester, that I really don't have as many close friends as I once thought. That's not necessarily due to my being antisocial, although that may be part of it. Part of the problem is distance. All of the friends that I grew up with live far away from me. All of them attended different schools from me, so we've grown apart over these last four years. And now that we've graduated, they've all moved back home, but I'm still 6.5 hours away attending grad school.
Speaking of graduation, the closest friends that I had made at school have also moved away, for the most part. Of the close relationships that I had last, I have only had regular, face-to-face contact with my girlfriend.

But, Chris, don't you have Facebook? In our tech-savy, plugged-in, social media based day and age, we don't have to be lonely anymore. We are only a mere click away from all 500 of our friends!

That may be true, but you have to admit that nothing can replace actually being with a friend. Technology has done wonders in shrinking the world and attempting to replicate face-to-face relationship. We have cell phones for wide portability, web cams and software that allow us to actually see each other talking, and Apple even developed Facetime to combine the two. But it's not the same. These forms of communication cannot replace a hug, a pat on the back, or a shoulder to lean on. I'd argue that they don't even replace a true look in the eye.

Though technology has done wonders in making it possible for me to keep in touch with the friends that I have, it will never replace in-person interaction. You cannot adequately replace being there in person to comfort a friend with a phone call. An intervention is not the same via Google+ Hangout. Playing games over the Internet isn't the same as a rousing game of Bang! or Settlers of Catan or Monopoly around a dining room table.

While I understand that technology cannot replace face-to-face relationships, I did nothing about it last semester. I did meet with a close friend a couple times when he was in town, but it wasn't something that was consistent, and often times I had a test or quiz the next morning, so we couldn't hang out the way that we wanted to. Though I attended a church all semester, I didn't take advantage of the community that was available. I rationalized in my head that I wasn't in college in the same way that undergraduates were, and that I was in an awkward age group that didn't really fit into our church's groups. I'm not really sure if that's true, but even if it were, I didn't give them a fair chance.

I want this semester to be different. I don't want to spend it holed up in my apartment playing video games. I want to get out and run a little, to play my guitar more, to read and learn. But most of all, I want to make friends with the people that are around me. To have that accountability and relationship that is only available through in-person friendships.

I'm not trading out my old friends for new ones. That's one of the blessings of technology, I can stay in contact with my old friends and still make new relationships. So, rather than farewell, I'd like to say thanks. Thanks to all of my friends for being there for me.

In your opinion, how has technology changed friendship? Is that good or bad?
Who could you bless by thanking them for being in your life as a friend?

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