The Meaning of Marriage Review

Title: The Meaning of Marriage

Authors: Timothy and Kathy Keller

Target Audience: "Based on the acclaimed sermon series by New York Times bestselling author Timothy Keller, this book shows everyone-Christians, skeptics, singles, longtime married couples, and those about to be engaged-the vision of what marriage should be according to the Bible." -Front Cover Flap

How I Found It: During the month of January, I was in a small group with a group of friends, some of whom are married, one engaged, and several of us are dating. We wanted to learn and discuss and grow as men, as Christians, and as (future) husbands.

Content - The Facts: Keller got together with his wife to write this book to take a look at marriage in the context of honoring God. The goal of this book is to educate you (the reader) to be able to make "intelligent decisions about your own marital future" (p. 17). The first four chapters are focused on what marriage is all about, what it's supposed to look like, and what it's purpose is. The last four chapters get into a discussion centered more on the applicability of the Bible's teaching. It talks about the difficulties of loving another imperfect person, how singles should approach the discussion about marriage, and some practical implications of the Biblical teachings about sex.

Content - My Impressions: I really enjoyed this book. I've been hearing teaching about being a biblical man fairly consistently over the past four to five years, but I haven't heard nearly as much teaching about marriage. I think it's really important to recognize that, after common core beliefs, friendship should be the foundation of a marriage. When I look around and see unhappy marriages and people that have "fallen out of love", I don't see friends. And the marriages that are working well, Christian and non-Christian, are nearly always between two people who consider themselves to be good, if not best, friends. 

The Bottom Line: I recommend this book to anyone who is married or wants to be. There are some terms that are more difficult, but Keller does an excellent job of breaking down these terms. Although this book is written from the Christian perspective, I think that anyone can draw a lot from this book.

Favorite Quotes:
"If two spouses each say, 'I'm going to treat my self-centeredness as the main problem in the marriage,' you have the prospect of a truly great marriage." -p. 65

"The Bible, however, without ignoring responsibility to the community or the importance of romance, puts great emphasis on marriage as companionship." -p. 117

"... single people cannot live their lives well as singles without a balanced, informed view of marriage. If they do not have that, they will either over-desire or under-desire marriage, and either of those ways of thinking will distort their lives." -p. 192

"Christians are not saved by obeying God, and yet true salvation will lead to obeying God, out of gratitude." -p. 228